Crap my kids do to me.

10.) Poop in a diaper, take it off. Finger paint mommy's walls!
9.) Know what else makes great finger paint? Nail polish!
8.) Done with dinner? That's okay the floor looked a little too clean.
7.) Give them each a lollipop, walk away. *thud... scream* Kaevuh has TWO lollipops.
6.) Kaevuh throws a fit and stomps into her room. Devon locks the door.
5.) Kaevuh's been in the potty an awful long time....
4.) Kaevuh, Devon and Uncle Chip giggle and whisper. Seconds later, *thud* mommy is hit in the head with a bouncy ball.
3.) It's too quiet. Do I know where my snacks are? Kaevuh does!
2.) Kaevuh rolls Devon up in a blanket and stuffs her in toddler tunnel.

1.) ... Poop in a cup.....

Know what I am noticing... 5 out of 10 either begin, or end with Kaevuh.

Parental Developement

Being a parent is a rewarding yet challenging learning process. Just in becoming parents we learned so much, and that hasn't changed. In some area's we are seasoned veterans, in others we're just beginning.

I found it sweet a few days ago when my husband and I were out. There was a man holding a newborn, and I wasn't paying much mind. The baby was fussing slightly, and my husband looks at me and says "He doesn't have what that baby wants." I was somewhere off in Lala land and respond with "huh?" "Look," he says, "That baby is rooting, he's hungry. I am willing to bet that man isn't equipped for the job."

It kind of made me smile. As awkward and nervous as he can be sometimes with the little babies, he knows more than it seems. We both do. We have been initiated into the parenting club, and now we understand those knowing smiles we'd get when we had to drag  screaming baby out of Golden Corral. It was that "Yeah, I been there." type of look. Usually followed by "Wait til' their 3... 5... 10... teenagers!"

We've noticed we share and receive baby wisdom from everywhere. Theres no manual to parenthood, but there's always a more experienced parent willing to help out someone new to the life of a parent.

Our oldest daughter is approaching three, our little one is 18 months, and I am in my third pregnancy. By this point we're pro's at this. We know all about morning sickness (ugh!), complications, ultrasounds, and birthing babies. We can change a poopy diaper blindfolded, and now without puking (although sometimes its a close call still). We've swaddled, rocked, bathed, and fed babies. We've been up all hours of the night with a screaming child without the foggiest idea why she was so angry.

Yet there is so much we have yet to experience. Kae goes to Preschool next year. We'll be parents of a school aged child, and I know that brings a whole new world of questions. Come on though, if we can handle a poop so big it wets through their pants in the middle of the mall playground without breaking a sweat, how hard can school be?

And it doesn't end there, I hear it doesn't even end when they graduate school and move on to college. In fact we'll still be parenting when our kids have kids, and Joel has to teach them what a hungry baby does. It's exciting though, and I wouldn't change it for the world. There are no happier moments in life than seeing my children learn and grow.

New Panties

Maybe I am wierd but I love putting on a pair of new panties. No I don't mean clean ones out of the drawer, although warm ones out of the dryer are nice too. I mean how often do you get to go out and buy new panties? For me it's not often, but when I do it's a treat. That's why when I get my Victoria's Secret coupons in the mail for a free pair I can't wait to go out and get my new underwear!

I have ALWAYS loved underwear. Frilly, lacey, funny designs. It's one of those things that makes me happy. It used to be stringy that made me happy, but I have long outgrown having a string up my ass. Then theres an increased chance of yeast infection with them, if you're having an extra moist day the string soaks wet and leaves a reash in your ass crack. No I go for comfort now.

But don't take that wrong, I am still many years from the granny panties, but its true what they say. The longer you're married, the bigger the panties get. I am still all about astethics. Really, the only one who gets to see them anymore is my husband, and my kids when they drag in to follow me to the shower. Despite that, when you're wearing pretty panties you feel pretty all over.

Just like those rare days you get where it's someone elses responsibility to watch the kids for a while (or they're taking an extra long nap and you forfiet the laundry for some alone time) and you take a long shower. You know, the kind you want to take. You actually take the time to condition your hair, shave your legs and... whatever else. Then you have time to get out and air dry (really, its better for your skin) and use the pretty lotion. You get to wash and moisturize your face, and pluck your unibrow. You might even get to blow dry your hair and put on make-up!

Thats what new panty day is like. A special treat for mommy, and best of all I have a coupon for a completely FREE pair no strings attached. If only they had the same for a new dress, or a new pair of shoes, or a new purse! I can settle for a pair of panties though.

So we get to the mall. Devon pooped on herself so theres a brief pitstop to buy her something decent to wear since she is now in a diaper and big sisters coat. Then I swing daddy and the kiddo's by the playground in the mall to play (Whoever redesigned the mall was a genius!) while mommy gets to go alone to pick out her free panties.

Free at last! Before heading straight for my target I take the time to browse the things I wish I could buy (or better yet also get for free.. just saying!) I find a small leather handbag with a red leather rose on it, and it's filled with bottles of wonderful smelling lotion! Its marked down half off, I make a mental note that the profit from my next party needs to be at least $35 plus tax.

I also find a bra that makes my boobs look like I haven't already nursed two children. Maybe the fact that the third is beginning to make himself more known that helped there. I find myself wondering why they couldn't make a nursing version. Then I have to go feel the silk jammies... No! Better! The fleece jammies! The kind you love to cuddle up in during the winter.

Finally I make my way to the panties. I pick through the bin ooing and aahing over the pretty designs. I finally settle on a pair of plain black ones. My reasoning? In 5ish months I am gonna be welcoming my third child, and I thought of those awful hospital net panties. No support, they fall off your rear. Not gonna happen, black won't stain. Black panties, my little friend, you will be my support when I think that this time for real, my inside are going to fall out through my vagina. You'll hold them in for me, and better yet, when I get home you won't bear the same scars I will.

I cant wait. I'm wearing them now.... I love new panties :)

You ever have one of those weeks?

It all started 2 weeks ago I guess. We went to Kroger, average morning, we were getting a few things. On the way out my husband yells at everyone to shush, listens, then pulls over. "What's wrong?" I ask. The tire is flat...

So we head across the street carefully to the gas station to use the air pump... it's broken. We find out later that our tire is beyond just flat, there is a gaping hole in it about the size of a large nail. So Joel opens the trunk, digs through the usless crap we tow in it and yanks out the spare and the jack. Then he scratches his head, looks at me and asks where the wrench is.. Ugh!

So we call our awesome friends Sara and TJ, and it just so happens TJ was on his way out the door to Kroger when we called so he brought us what we needed, and we drove carefully home on the donut tire. When we checked out the rest of the tires later we noticed they really all needed replaced, and one had a bubble in it that looked like it was ready to explode. Great, the car's broke.

So later that week I am trying to use the computer, and it just randomly shuts down. I don't mean it powered off, I mean it closed all my programs, did the little hourglass thing and said "Logging off.... Shutting down....". WTF? It does this for three days, and I give up. I was mad. Great, the computer's broke too. No computer to do my school work, and no car to get myself to the campus office to use theirs.

Then a few days later I am eating dinner. I have a bad tooth, I have been neglecting it forever, and suddenly part of it crumbles off and I accidentally eat it. Fantastic, now my tooth is broken. What else can we break?

Don't ever ask that question aloud! The next day my husband asks "Did you turn on the big TV?" Why yes actually, I did. "Well its stuck on a blue screen and keeps turning on and off and none of the buttons work." So we fiddle with it, and decide its futile. Terrific... The TV is broken too.

By this point we had just paid the nearly $400 bill for tires, so at least the car is back. But it gets better, a couple days later despite the fact the heat is set to 70, and the thermostat says its 63 in the house, the heat won't come on! We waited hours for it to click on while it got colder and colder, and it never did. NOW THE HEAT IS BROKEN! What the heck else can break!?!?!

This is where God smiled on us, just when I am wrapping my head around the bills to fix all this stuff, and I am balancing how much we need each item to prioritize things start going my way. I decide the computer and TV can wait, we have more than one TV and computer, I can just move my school work to dads temporarily. Dad went and bought a new thermostat, that fixed that, then I learned that I could fix the TV and the computer for free!

Turns out the computer just had something spilled in the keyboard, we only have like 12 keybaords laying around. Done! Then I called Samsung about the TV, appearently when ours was manufactured some bad parts came through Quality Control and we got them. Free repair! Awesome! (well almost, because the free part wasn't the only thing wrong with it, but they are coming back to fix the rest and theres a chance it might just be warranty work and also be free). Woot! Check one more enourmous repair bill off my list!

Now all that's left is my tooth. Whew! I don't even want to stress about that one until its time for the appointment, maybe we'll have a blessing there too. Life threw us a whole darn bushel of lemons this week, but we managed. Now we have an excess stock of Lemonade, anyone interested?

Being pregnant...

Especially for the third time in my situation is like. Well it's hard to explain. People still ask you questions like it's your first, and make additional judements because it's not. Like when my husband and I bought a pregnancy test before we actually concieved (I had a fluctuating cycle, this particualr one happened to be 40 days long and we just KNEW I had to be pregnant) a woman at Wal-Mart passsed us looking at the tests. She stopped, looked at my two in the cart, then at me and hands me a coupon saying "Every little bit helps."

Where do people get off making judgements about MY family, MY decision? I mean seriously. Okay, well maybe I do get the occasional comment I look about 16 and with two in the cart MAYBE I can justify it, but still not really. People notice I am pregnant and say "Oh, its your first?" I say no... it's my third. They stare like they had some kind of stroke or something.

Then I get the comment, "You're brave to have three that close together."... Excuse me you said brave, but I know you meant stupid. I never once thought of myself as brave, or stupid. This is whats right for my family, and while I value the opinion of my close friends and family, it's still my decision and everyone else can butt out. I may grump and complain about being pregnant, but I will never regret it. We may struggle to make ends meet, but we make the sacrifice for our family and it will always be worth it.

One day when I am 43 and still young and beautiful when my youngest child is grown and ready to graduate, and suddenly I am in the prime of my life when I should have a nearly paid for house and a better job and life experience and I get to travel the country every summer when I am off from teaching they will be eating their words. Thats what Joel and I always wanted, the joy of raising kids of our own, then being young empty nesters to enjoy our alone time, and still yet young enough grandparents to be very active participants in our grandchildrens lives, and maybe even be lucky enough to see great grandchildren.

We'll have enough time in our prime to save money for retirement, which will be buying a three wheeled motorcycle and a pop up camper and going out for a week or two at a time and just travel.

Fonzi v. Fabio

It's been a while. I've ben busy, theres been "issues" but I think you NEED to know this. I was rolling with fits of giggles for a long time after this happened.

I am not sure what got into my husband last night, perhaps the man is too *ahem* deprived, I don't know. But the topic came up while talking about going to the OB doctor. Joel asks "So what if like a young hot doctor came in, would you get excited and squirt?"

My reply. "Ummm, probably not knowing what they are about to do to my girly parts..."
Joel: "Not even a little?"
Me: "No... its pretty taumatic and distracting, the last thing on my mind is sex."
Joel: "What if instead he walked in with an arm-full of 'toys'?"
Me: "What!?"
Joel: "Hypothetically, if he walked in with an arm-full of 'toys' would you get excited then?"
Me: "Uhhhhh....."
Joel: "Okay what if F...f... Fonzi? Yeah Fonzi! What if Fonzi walked in!"

Okay at this point I believe my husband has completely lost it. I ask "You want to know, if I would be aroused if Fonzi came in as my OB?"

Joel: "Yes."

Now I am picturing in my head laying on the exam table naked from the waste down with the stupid paper thingy in my lap as Fonzi (you know, from happy days) throws open the door. He tosses his hair, flips up his collar and does the double pistol sign at me as he makes a clicking noise with his mouth and says " 'Eeyyyy, I'm gonna check your vagina!"

As this disturbing scene is playing out in my head Joel says...

"Yeah he walks in shirtless..." Fonzi is now shirtless, I am even more disturbed... "And tosses his stupid long blond hair amd.." At this point I have to stop him because Fonzi is now wearing a blond wig.

Me: "Wait... Are you talking about Fabio?"
Joel: "Yeah why, what did you think I said?"
Me: "You said Fonzi..."
Joel: "Fonzi?"
Me: "Yeah, like from Happy Days."
Joel: laughing " 'Eeeyyyy!"
Me: "There's a pretty clear difference between Fonzi, and Fabio..."

This is my life. These are the conversations I am sucked into with my husband layinh in bed at night when he has had too much coffee and can't contain himself enough to go to sleep.

We are -not- crazy hillbillies...

Haha, yeah right! So here's how the day has been spent...

Mommy is awakened by what she first to be hellish demonic screams. Upon fully awakening I realise it is Kaevuh (2, almost 3) collapsed in a pile near the door squealing. She can't get out. You see, my daughter is the fearless independent sort. She wakes up, rarely if ever wakes me up with her, and carries on about her business until I wake up. That is why our bedroom door locks.

I kind of grumble, and turn over. I refuse to aknowledge her when she behaves this way, so I lay and wait for her to calm down and ask me like a big girl to get up for breakfast. It takes a good 15 minutes, which daddy spends with a pillow pressed over his head. Believe it or not, that is a relatively uneventful morning.

Afterwards we decide to tear down the pool. We bought an Intex Quikset pool last week. It sucks. After first spending the afternoon digging in the yard to level  the pool, we fill it up partially and run out of time. We head to bed to fill it the rest of the way the next day. It gets filled, no time to swim. The next morning we awaken to a collapsed, empty pool.

I assume it is unlevel, and the water shifted in the night. We debate all week on wether to tear it down, or dig it level and fill it up again. We decide to tear it down and return it. An $89 pool is NOT worth that much work. After dismantling it to return, we check the ground to learn that it is level. What the heck made the pool collapse? We speculate a disgruntled neighbor may have messed with it in the night (one seemed more than mildly irritated by it's presence for only God knows why) or possibly the neighbors dogs that run free may have tried to jump in. There is no leash law in out county, so a neighbors 4 large dogs run rampant in our yard frequently, and one is not even remotely friendly.

Either way we decide if the pool is that easy to collapse, it is not safe for the kids. What if it collapsed with the kids in it because they got a little rambunctious? Unacceptable in my opinion. The pool goes back to Toys-R-Us. Maybe we'll buy a real pool next year.

So... aside from the redneck pool in our back yard, as I am tearing down the pool my husband decides this is really a one person job and starts the mowing. My oldest daughter decides to ride with him. I expected fear shock, and much to my surprise she loved it. She sat in daddy's lap for a long time and mowed the yard.

This is my life living in a rural county..... Maybe I'll post a picture of that.

First post.

First, I want to start by saying I totally rock at starting stuff, and I totally suck at upkeeping it. You HAVE been warned.

At anyrate some of you know me, some of you don't so I suppose a precautionary introduction is in order. I an Jennifer, most people just call me Jen. I am a 24 year old stay at home mom, and I am also a full time student with the University of Phoenix online. My family is a little more than strange to most. I mean the gas passing contests to see who can run the rest of the family out of the room are one thing, our family structure is another.

My husband, my 2 daughters, my dad, my brother, and myself share a house. Most people would think this ie either a little more than strange, or that we were having financial troubles. This is not the case. (Well okay, we are a lot strange but thats beside the point.) This is a voluntary situation. You see, about this time last year after deep debate over the economy and the good old days, we decided our family would work best together. I mean seriously, what ever happened to the days when your kids stuck around the family homestead with their spouse and children and we all worked together? That's what we are achieving here.

We share everything, including a family bank account and the responsibility of balancing it. We work together on everything (or try anyway) to keep our family comfortable. My girls love having Papaw and Uncle Chip around all the time. Everything just seems... happier... easier. Not to say we don't have our catfights and disagreements much like any other family.

Currently, we are expecting our third child (5th grandchild). We are in the process of a major undertaking here. The expecting status of this baby means we have got to get our home presentable for selling next year. We have converted the garage into a Man Cave/ Mother-in-law suite, we're cleaning up the yard, decluttering for the move, hopefully painting and replacing floor covering, and updating appliances. All in the hopes of getting a good price for our home next year so we can build an appropriately sized house for our family.

In addition to house stuff, the need for a bigger car has become more urgent. Considering my rear grows exponentially by the year, I haven't got much time left where I will fit between two carseats in the back, and even then we are short one seat for our current family size, and two when the baby comes. The need for a minivan is immenent, no matter how much denial we may be in. RIP my husbands manhood, I promise to at least pick out a manly color.

So there it is, I present to you... My family. We're not perfect, not even close. But we love eachother, and work everyday to maintain our structure. Some days are better than others, sometimes I want to pull my hair out. I wouldn't have it any other way though.